celine's blaa

9:47pm: lungkot mo.
badtrip.
i miss her.
miss kaya nya ko?
boo.

2:48am: wag jan!!
...andumi.
pero go pa rin.
hangang kinatok na kme.
tara bhie, may naiihi na!!
boom, lasing.

huhu kaiyak.
sobrang memorable night.
noodle, noodle, noodle!
hoy jobel. ang saya.
isa pa uli ha.
namiss kita eh. sobra.
mwah.
inuman na talaga, promise.

10:13pm: hello, minions.
blaah. wala namang bago.
tpos na christmas and new year.
bagong taon na.
so tamang try mag bagong buhay.
TRY lang.
hihi!

"resolutions":
1. bawasan ang bad stuff
2. pataba ng 5 pounds.
3. tigil na magmura!
4. hinay sa gastos
5. go back to school on september!
6. ituloy ang faithfulness!
7. magpaka lupet sa gitara
8. redeem the lumanog
9. hinay sa cellphone use
10. jogging pag walang ulan.

callie to george: i slept with mark to get over you, but guess what, it didn't work.

8:18pm: bagong partner!
hay salamat!

nakahanap ako ng bagong partner in crime! yung talagang almost pareho kme ng perspectives in life! sobrang easy mag open up kase alam kong mag a-agree sya. haha! ngayon lang kme nag hang out, as in first time, pero sobrang saya. tamang laftrip nga buong time na magkasama kme. lahat na ng pedeng pag pintasan, pinintasan namin. pati yung way na manamit yung ibang pilipino sa vancouver na sobrang baduy! at yung mga maiingay na matatandang chekwa sa bus! pati na rin yung mga amoy sibuyas na tao. basta ang saya. kahit straight sya, alam nya nararamdaman ko dahil may boyfriend din sya sa pilipinas. ang saya -_-*

yung dream ko the other night is rather interesting. check it out.

12:28am: ...
i like that she wakes me up at 4:30am cause she wants to talk to me. i feel like she needs me. i feel needed. it makes me feel good. i dont mind waking up at anytime for her. i dont mind not able to go out. just as long as she's there. i love her.

11:24pm: l word starring...
celine - dana
audrey - alice
evan - tina
vianca - bette
roxanne - shane
kaye - carmen

pero alice and dana, ndi sila break.

haha kulet. pederasyon talaga. mga bes. wii!

9:30pm: signs of being in lub - to be updated regularly
i cant eat when i think about you.

10:00pm: so do you like crying?
i do.
although i like pretending im a strong little kid who doesnt cry to anything nor anyone.
i should stop pretending.
jealousy, hey i dont have any problems with letting out.
im a jealous person.
as much as i wanna change...
as much as im trying to change,
i think im going to die a jealous person...
hopefully half the jealous person i am right now.

sigh.
i love you.

10:22pm: rememberrr?
number one... huhu depp mode.
si audrey kase may saket.
kase ang epal ko.
kung ndi ako nag inarte,
edi sana ok kme ngayon.
edi sana wala syang sakit.

tapos ngayon kachat ko pa si shiela.
naalala ko lang ung threesome naming tatlo ni nudel.
bwahaha.
threesome daw.
bsta sobrang love ko kayong dalawa.
mwah.

12:14am: how to stop yourself from crying
1. breathe in... breathe out
2. close your eyes as hard as u can
3. stretch out your nose
4. think: stop crying, u cry baby. u're a fucking sissy.

pero minsan hindi ko matigil tong pagiging mahid ko.
punyemas. hindi ko kaya maging manhid.

1:35am: stop pretending!!
ayoko nang mag pretend na masaya ako pag naguusap tayo ng college stuff.
nasasaktan lang ako isipin na napaka indefinate ng future natin.
i know it's always been indefinate...
all i want is to spend the next 100 years of my life with you.
i know it's too much to ask, especially if that's not what you want.
i just dont wanna go on without you in my life.
i need you. i really need you.

worst fear:
that one day when u're in college, u'll meet a man or woman who will sweep u off your feet.
then later on that day, u realize that you dont wanna be with a girl who lives on the other side of the ocean. you wanna be with the person near you. the person who will be there beside you whenever you call.
... i cant do that. i want to, but it's just impossible that i'll be right there when you turn ur head. i would love to be that. i just dont see myself living in the phils for more that a year. i wish you wud be the one to move here, but im pretty sure your heart belongs to the philippines.

12:53am: excited!
my birthday is in 3 months... but i made a wish list, just in case i forget what i want.....

1. grey's anatomy season 2 dvd
2. new laptop / desktop
3. ipod fm transmitter
4. big fish dvd

5:36am: wala lang... miss na kita.
im sad cause i cant be there to be a part of your life.
maybe a part of your cyberspace life, i cud be. but i wish there was something more.
it's pathetic how my best friend can help u out on school stuff, while i sleep the night away.
as much as i want to be a part of your life, the truth is, i cant really do much.
i wish i could be the one who helps you out in school stuff...
i may not know much, but id do my best to answer your questions...
even if it takes research. =)

hunny.. princess.. sweetheart.. sugar.........
i love you very much.
i wish i could find words to describe this love i feel for you.
words are all i have, seriously.
i wish we're in each other's arms.

9:31am: early morn bad vibes
it went something like this... dinugtong dugtong ko lang.

me: mahal mo pa ba sya? (c ex)
her: hindi na. ikaw lang mahal ko.
me: gusto mo pa ba sya? (c "ex" kras)
her: ndi na msyado, iunno, hindi..... eeh labo.

pero bago pa non, tamang nagising ako ng 4am dahil sa tawag na hindi ko masyado na-appreciate. baket ganon? 4am iyakan fest. fuck.

after 3 hours, may tumawag nanaman. 7am pa rin, pero mas maganda ung pakiramdam. miss daw nya ko kase kakatapos lang nya manood ng wicker park. bangon na ko, magonline ako para makausap ko sya.

tapos yang me and her na ung nangyari. eto continuation...

me: long term commitment?
her: ndi ko naman kase alam kung ano mangyayari sa future
......
me: you'll tell me right? kung tuluyang na-fall ka na skania (c "ex" kras uli)
her: hindi nga
me: who knows! e ikaw na nga nagsabi, hindi mo alam kung ano mangyayari sa future.

baket ganon? pag tungkol dun sa other girl, hindi agad. pero pag tungkol dun kay ex kras e nag dadalawang isip pa sya. ano magagawa ko? lalaki yon! nasa pilipinas yon! tamang mag mumukmok na lang ako sa kama ko tpos sabihin ko sakania: oy miss na kita. pero hanggang dun lang. punyeta... wala akong magawa! pano ko sya paglalaban? pano ko sya aangkinin kung ang layo ko.

parang hindi ata to mag wo-work out. nakakalungkot. pero buburahin ko yon sa isip ko. sasabihin ko sa sarili ko: oye mahal ka non. mahal mo sya. kayo na talaga forever. pero hanggang kelan lang ang forever?

mas depps sya ngayon na kme... naramdaman ko lang... kesa sa sila nung other girl. parang sa xanga nya puro badvibes. puro huhu lungkot/masaya. baka kunwari lang na masaya kase nagbabasa ako... alam nyang binabasa ko. kaya nga sobrang support ako nung binreak nya ung other girl kase sbe nya hindi sya masaya. pero parang mas hindi sya masaya ngayon. sbe nya wala syang kwenta... mas walang kwenta ako. kaya nga gusto nyang maging kame kase akala nya sasaya sya. pero parang hindi. ako ang walang kwenta. wag mo na i-deny.

9:54am: bye bye, beautiful
huhu wala na sya. tamang depp mode on na naman. pero ok na rin. basta lang alam kong mahal namin isa't isa... at ang cool nga e... nag commit sya saken, kahet naman ang layo namin isa isa't isa. ang sweet nya. ako rin nag commit. pramis hindi na to masisira. pramis talaga.

2:47pm: so long, so long
haha! ang weird. ang tagal ko nang walang entry.
dami na kaseng ginagawa. damang tambak na projects, wala pa kong naumpisahan. shit.

sarap makinig ng toodoodoodoo... here comes the sun... it's alright. ahhhh kakarelax. pedeng pakinggan kahit kelan. nasa school ako ngayon.

ok eto yung mga taong na-lost kontak ko na... nakakamis. tears.

• lira
  
• ate mae
  
• noodle
  
• raye-chelle
  
• aleli
  

prom na bukas... hindi pa ko handa masyado. ung buhok ko! ang buhok! anong gagawin ko sayo?!! huhu bahala na c ano.. ano nga pala pangalan nya? callie. inatake na ng pagiging makalimutin.

hindi na talaga natuloy c robert. may bago nga e... kaso pede na rin naming sabihing one night stand yon... without the sex. whatever. cnong may kiber? wala na... kinalimutan ko na rin yon. buti nga ang dali lang. eto technique... just find something really not-so-nice about the person... and isipin mo lang lage... tpos prang yak.. haha! oo babaw ko.

ONE MORE WEEK!!! bago ko bisitahin c audrey. punyemas sobrang excited na ko. hindi ako makapag hintay. huhu!! ang lapit na!!! so close, yet so far. yak baduy. tpos...

ONE MORE MONTH!!! dito na daddy ko!! YAY!!! kaso sandali lang sya. huhu one month sya dito... pero ok na rin yon kesa sa hindi sya pumunta. excited na ko. gusto ko na sya makita! gustong gusto ko na sya makita!!!!!!!!!

2:47pm: so long, so long
haha! ang weird. ang tagal ko nang walang entry.
dami na kaseng ginagawa. damang tambak na projects, wala pa kong naumpisahan. shit.

sarap makinig ng toodoodoodoo... here comes the sun... it's alright. ahhhh kakarelax. pedeng pakinggan kahit kelan. nasa school ako ngayon.

ok eto yung mga taong na-lost kontak ko na... nakakamis. tears.

• * lira
  
• * ate mae
  
• * noodle
  
• * raye-chelle
  
• * aleli
  

6:49pm: yak derrr!
alam mo sobrang kadiri!!! as in nakaka suka!
tamang nag make-out party c papa m. tska ung bago nyang syota.
kadiri, mga kaibigan! KADIRI!
sobrang........ argh ewan ko ba.
ndi ko ma-explain.
bsta, kadiri!!!
bwahahahahaha!
teka teka, hindi ako nagseselos.
sobrang inappropriate lang!
kase naman may gagung nag spray ng pepperspray sa school....
so pinalabas lahat ng tao.
e tamang magkakaklase kme.... tapos biglang ganon.
e ang ginaw,ginaw! sobrang lahat ng tao giniginaw!
except sila na lang cguro.
cla lang ung hot... which wasnt really hot when u look at them.
bwahahaha! ang sama ko, bow.

11:09pm: nakakasawa naman!
kase naman no!
laing hug-hug lang.
tpos tanong nya: "how's it going?"
tpos sagot ko:
"great", o kaya "good", minsan "im alryt"
nakakasawa! paulit-ulit na lang!
pero it's nice!
we get to talk everyday.
and we get to hug everyday, too.

ooooooooo celine's in the honor roll!
bwahahahaha!
i feel so smart bigla.

11:00pm: my new favorite song
-UNDER PRESSURE-
QUEEN

Mm ba ba de
Um bum ba de
Um bu bu bum da de
Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for
Under pressure that brings a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets
Um ba ba be
Um ba ba be
De day da
Ee day da - that's okay
It's the terror of knowing
What the world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow gets me higher
Pressure on people people on streets
Day day de mm hm
Da da da ba ba
Okay
Chippin' around - kick my brains around the floor
These are the days it never rains but it pours
Ee do ba be
Ee da ba ba ba
Um bo bo
Be lap
People on streets - ee da de da de
People on streets - ee da de da de da de da
It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher higher high
Pressure on people people on streets
Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn
Why - why - why?
Love love love love love
Insanity laughs under pressure we're breaking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance
Why can't we give love that one more chance
Why can't we give love give love give love give love
give love give love give love give love give love
'Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the (People on streets) edge of the night
And loves (People on streets) dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure

*************************
this song is what Vanilla Ice took as the beat of his 'song' Ice Ice Baby. lol i love this song... err under pressure, not ice ice baby!

2:50am: christmas has come and go
sigh man! things happen toooo freaking fast!
in 19 hours, it'll be 2006!
omigosh! 2006?!
who wud have thought this year would come?
what's coming up?...

daddy's coming!
graduation!
18th birthday - boo!
vacation to phils?
vacation to L.A.?
vacation to florida?

yup this really is my year!
haha! suddenly, i cant wait for 2006!
gosh this is gonna be crazy man!
so much stuff coming!

goals:

get good, good grades.
win her heart back?... hmm maybe. i'll keep this in mind.
get into art school or the law field?
stop being lazy! get up my ass and organize things!

sigh i dont know about that second one.
i kinda promised to myself to stop hoping and wishing
that i'll get her back.
hmmm enough about that.
i dont want this blog to be an audrey blog... again.
BOO!!! argh!!
anyhoo!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

2:02am: if u wanna know the truth.
if you wanna know the truth...

when i insult somebody u like, surely i feel something for you.

yes. i still do.

7:16pm: i thought she knew
haha! i love this song.
sigh.................. i miss her.

I Thought She Knew - NSYNC

She was my once-in-a-lifetime
Happy ending come true
I guess I should have told her
I thought she knew

She said I took her for granted
It's the last thing I would do
Oh, I'll never understand it
I thought she knew

I thought she knew my world revolved around her
My love light burned for her alone
But she couldn't see the flame
Only myself to blame
I should have known
I should have known

A heart full of words left unspoken
Now that we're through
I tell my soul to have its silence broken
I thought she knew, I thought she knew

I thought she knew my world revolved around her
My love light burned for her alone
But she couldn't see the flame
Only myself to blame
I should have known
I should have known

She was my once-in-a-lifetime
Happy ending come true
Oh, I guess I should have told her
But I thought she knew (I thought she knew)
I thought she knew
I thought she knew
Ooh
I thought that she knew

9:34am: ubos na ang oras!!!
argh..... 5 more days?
(tama bang mag tapat?)
parang paubos na kase ung oras ko.
ang gulo, bow.
it feels like my time's running out.
but i know i shouldn't walk down that road again.
might ruin our friendship,
since we're not that close yet.
talk about wrong timing. boo!
kung kelan uuwi sya.
should i? should i not?
pakshet!!
kaso it's a little weird.
he doesnt seem to fancy me.
boo yang mga lalaking yan. lol.
loko lang.

ang saya saya ng debut ni shecu.
parang gusto ko rin mag debut.
kaso... heller!!! lol. wala lang.
if i wud get a debut, id do it in the phils.
sighh man. hahaha!
anyhoo... it was really fun! i enjoyed every minute of it.
boo! i hate kaplastikan!!!!

9:12pm: the signs are here...
kelangan ko nang kalimutan yung kumag na yon.
iniwan ko naman ung name and number ko sa message ko sakania ah.
bket ndi pa rin sya tumatawag?
9 na... 6 pa ko tumawag sakania.
pakshet. bow.
the signs are here, wala nang mas oobvious pa.
nakakalungkot.
(biglang nagring ung phone... kala ko sya, c mom pala)
pucha. kalimutan na ang kumag!!!!
pakshet!!!!